Expecting

Someplace in Ethiopia, a woman is walking around with a swollen belly where my baby is beginning his or her life. It is her baby too and though I may never meet her, this bond is one of the strongest I may share with another human being.

This “pregnancy” is different in so many ways from my first two. For starters, I can celebrate the announcement of our third baby with a glass of bubbly. And instead of waddling around with cankles in six months, I’ll be surrounded by a sea of paperwork and correspondence from a foreign government and adoption agencies. I will trade my round belly, clearly announcing my pregnancy for a conviction deep within that the baby meant for us will eventually come home.

I have wanted to adopt an international baby for as long as I can remember. My sister Emma, ten years my junior, was adopted from Hong Kong and came to our family when she was seventeen months. I was proud of the ethnically diverse family my parents had built and while I never gave much thought to the fact that Emma and I don’t share the same blood, I always considered her presence in our family special and enjoyed celebrating Chinese New Year and her “Coming Home Day.” Perhaps it was my personal experience as an adoptive family that prompted my longing to continue this tradition within my family as an adult.

Despite my desire to adopt, we were never quite certain whether to make the leap from two to three kids. I have my two girls, eighteen months apart and with just three bedrooms and many days when my fuse is so short I can barely see it, the size of our family seemed just about right. I was hesitant to add a third and being the instigator to start a family in the first place, decided not to be the one to push the envelope. So I was floored when James initiated the discussion and seemed fairly eager to expand our family with an adopted child. He had even done quite a bit of research and landed on Ethiopia as a good fit for our family for a number of reasons, one of which was the care offered at the orphanages and the strides the adoption agency takes to keep the children in their country by offering medical assistance and financial aid. We felt that we would be adopting a child truly in need of a home with no other options but to be adopted. And we knew we had the resources, but most of all the love, to offer this child.

Somewhere out there, my baby begins his or her life. This baby is a fighter, but beyond that I don’t know anything about him. I don’t even know if it’s a him. I do know that when people tell us we are doing such a wonderful deed, I will know better. I will know that it is our child who has brought so much more to our family than we could ever return. Families grow in many ways. I can’t wait to meet our next addition.