The Roller Coaster Ride

The end of January is approaching and still, no court date.  Our court review date was yesterday, January 25^th and typically a travel date is issued within a week or so of that milestone.  For us, though, once again, things are delayed.  Two issues are standing in our way of travel: first, our agency is in the process of renewing their agency license to place children in Ethiopia.  The license expired in December and there was a backlog of agencies in line to renew.  While there is a two month grace period, they have no way of knowing when their license will be reissued.  Without a license, the Ministry of Women’s Affairs in Ethiopia will not write a letter of recommendation for us to move forward with our adoption case and without that letter, court dates will not be issued.  According to our agency, an inspection has been done and families who had previously adopted through them were interviewed, so it seems all procedures have been completed in order to renew the license – it’s just a matter of actually doing so.  And while this could conceivably happen any day, the other factor standing in our way of receiving a court date is that the Ethiopian courts have just announced they will be closing from February 5-22 to catch up on cases in progress so no new dates will be issued during that time.

And so, once again, we wait with no clear answers and no ability to estimate timing.  Over the course of the last two and a half years, we have done our best to understand that we are dealing with a third world country and this process is bound to hit walls and take unexpected detours.  But our frustration is mounting and there is nothing we can do about the circumstances.  So after stewing about the elongated timeline and pining for the day when we will finally meet our son, we turn control of the situation to a higher power and have faith that there is a reason for the painstaking amount of time this whole process is taking.

I do know that one day, in the not-to-distant future, we will have Kaleb home with us and all the heartache we currently feel will be a vague memory I can only compare to giving birth.  It is absolutely torturous at the time – an event one would never conceive of reliving.  And then the baby is born and the pain is forgotten and many of us go back for more.  

A friend of mine who I have never met, but commiserate with via email regularly about our Ethiopian adoption processes, painted the perfect analogy of all the waiting and unknowns.  Remember when you were a kid and went to an amusement park and all the popular rides had long, long lines of people winding around roped off aisles anxiously awaiting the adrenaline rush that was just minutes ahead?  You would think you were just about at the end of the line and then, unfailingly, you’d enter a room of a dozen more roped off aisles and there would be another lengthy wait ahead.  Then, the ride would break down and there would be a delay while the engineer team had to come repair it.  But finally, you’d get on the ride and speed along the tracks and in and out of loops, your hands in the air, fearless, despite the risky venture on which you have embarked.  And then, when the ride comes to a halt and the next rider takes your seat and asks, “was it worth it?” you nod vigorously and assure him, “absolutely.  I’d do it again in a heartbeat.”

We're Getting There....

It has been awhile since I've posted, but a few important steps have happened in order for us to travel.  On December 18th, we were submitted to court.  This simply means that all our documents have been received by the Ethiopian court and the authorities over there are now working toward getting all the necessary elements in order before we appear in court to make Kaleb's adoption official.  Then, last Friday, January 4th, we received word that our court review date is January 25th.  So, by this date, a specific letter from the Ministry of Women in Ethiopia must be received and the case will be reviewed.  If all goes smoothly, we will be issued a court date shortly thereafter.  This is a somewhat new process and we are one of the first families traveling for court under this procedure.  Previously, there was not a pre-court review date so when families traveled to court, there were occasions when that important letter was not received and the family would have to either wait in Ethiopia or return to the States without having passed court.  The review date ensures that our court appearance will likely go according to plan, but it seems to delay the time from referral to court date slightly.  It also seems, according to a few blogs I've been stalking written by adoptive families who have gone through the new process, that the time from court assignment date to actual travel may be quite short - as little as a week.  So, it is possible that at the end of January we will be assigned a court date and be due in court in early February.  At this point, our estimated date of travel for court is sometime in the first two weeks of February.  Which means that within four weeks, we will likely be setting foot in our son's country.  Crazy!

Despite the fact that the inn is fairly quiet this time of year, we've been running around with our heads cut off trying to think of everything we can to tie up prior to travel.  We have to consider staffing, childcare (there is a good chance we will be gone during winter break when there is no school or day care for the girls), and packing (the list of things to pack is daunting...especially when, if you forget something, it is not a matter of simply running to CVS for toothpaste).  We also just found out that one of our interns has decided to return to the UK since one of her friends died and she needs to be with family and friends right now.  We understand and support her decision and have even found a couple students currently in the U.K. who might be available to fill in for her last half of the placement.  There is a lot of paperwork to be done for that in addition to the usual paperwork for filing for our new interns to start in June and our Jamaican staff returning for the summer.  A lot to tie up prior to travel.  So lists are being made, all our close friends and family are on alert, and we are getting super excited to travel.  Oh, and I've had to go shopping for some more conservative attire - long skirts, scarves, elbow length baggier tops, and close toed shoes will be in my suitcase.  And I may even leave my hair straightener at home :)

It still hasn't quite sunk in that this trip will culminate in meeting our son.  James made the perfect analogy - this is like planning a wedding and then having the honeymoon.  You plan and plan and plan for the wedding and that is the focus of what you do for months.  Then, after the wedding, you get to go on an amazing honeymoon which almost took a back seat because of all the wedding planning.  There was no time to get excited about the honeymoon, but that was the best part.  For us, there is so much organizing to do prior to travel - plus, we are planning on extending our trip to explore the North region of Ethiopia while we are there, so we are in contact with a driver over there to help plan that itinerary.  With all the check lists and organizing going through our heads, it hasn't quite registered that our son will be the honeymoon at the end of all this orchestration.  And yet, as unreal as it seems right now, I know that a year from now, when he is home and it is hard to imagine life without him, all this work will be worth it.  And to be honest, I loved planning our wedding - one of the happiest days of my life.  It is work and a lot of unknown timeframes, but I am loving this time - there is a lot of adrenaline in us when it comes to love.