Kaleb's Homecoming

Countless times, I have heard adoptive parents declare that their child was meant to be with them.  That the hands of fate miraculously paired the right child to the right parents and that all the waiting and paperwork and moments of wondering if this will ever happen erase from memory as soon as that child comes home.  Sounds lovely, but I had my doubts.  I figured, kids were matched with families on a list, the family gets the kid, and love blossoms over time, ultimately resulting in bold "meant to be" statements. 

Hands up!

Now that Kaleb is home, I take that back.  There is no doubt in my mind that he was destined to be part of our family.  It isn't just his personality that clicks so well with the dynamics in our household, nor is it the way his face lights up when food is heading his way just as James and I appreciate a good meal.  It isn't just his gentle nature or his obvious thoughtfulness of others (he always shares his snacks with his sisters).  It is just this overwhelming gut feeling that he is our son.  There is an invisible connection between us and the feeling is mutual.  Kaleb instinctively turns to us for comfort and even in the midst of a very exciting game of trucks with Paige, he toddles over to me for a hug.  I get in now.  Just as when I gave birth I understood how you can instantly fall in love.

So, let me back pedal a few weeks since a lot has happened since I last posted (time has been slipping away from me leaving me little time to brush my teeth let alone sit down and write).  When we returned home from our court hearing, we jumped right back into life.  The inn was getting busier as the summer approached and renovations on our house were almost complete which meant moving back (we accumulated an ungodly amount of stuff at our temporary residence), and getting our house back in order.  We were busy and as is usual with our lives, time was flying.  Then, four weeks after being home, we got an email from our agency requesting a whole bunch of paperwork to be completed, notarized and overnighted so we could be submitted to embassy.  We somehow dropped everything and got the documents in the mail just five minutes before the UPS store closed.  Phew!  We thought this meant at least six more weeks of waiting, but unexpectedly, we were submitted to embassy two weeks later and were cleared to travel the week after that.  We found out we were clear to travel on May 14th and left for Addis on the 16th.  Those 36 hours are a complete blur.  Actually, the last month is a blur!

This time we flew on Emirites, a really impressive airline.  We flew Boston to JFK (a quick hour flight) and then connected to Dubai where we had such a long layover, Emirites put us up overnight.  Wahoo!  A night in Dubai.  We took full advantage and since our bags were checked through to Addis, we took a cab from the airport right to the Dubai Mall.  I'm not one to use texting lingo, but OMG.  James is damn lucky we didn't have a whole lot of time, because that place is a sprawling - possible a couple miles - of every single shop you can imagine.  There is a huge aquarium in the middle of the mall and the place was teaming with people - and this was at 10pm.  Thankfully for James, I was too famished to even shop, so we found a Lebonese restaurant with outdoor seating overlooking the famous Dubai fountains and caught some of the last fountain shows of the night.   Then, after a fabulous gelato, we headed to the hotel where we got a great night sleep before leaving for Addis the following morning.

Who is this guy?

Ah, Addis.  It was great to be back.  When we arrived at the guest house, a representative from our agency immediately called to go through our itinerary.  In just a half hour, we would leave for the care center to visit Kaleb briefly and then would take custody of him the following day. 

You might recall from my previous post that Kaleb was very willing to hang with us and seemed to warm quickly to strangers.  This time was the complete opposite.  We travelled with another couple (the same couple we travelled with on our court visit) and we were all escorted into a room where the kids were presented to us.  Both kids burst into tears and pretty much remained that way for the next hour or so until it was time to leave.  Nothing we did seemed to appease our son.  We left feeling a little deflated.  What happened to the mellow little guy we left behind just six weeks ago?  We had been nervous about taking custody, but his reaction to us that day compounded our anxiety tenfold. 

We put our worries aside for the evening though, and decided to have one last adult night out for what could be weeks to come.  We had read about an Italian restaurant, Castelli’s, frequented by Brad Pitt on his visits to Ethiopia and decided to give it a whirl.  Brad has good taste.  There was a self service antipasto bar and some of the best homemade pasta I’ve ever had.  It was so good, we decided to share an extra dish.  We left full and sleepy, with hesitation, but most of all excitement about the following day.

Farewell Coffee Ceremony

Lunch at farewell ceremony

Saturday, May 18^th – custody day.  Once again, we travelled to the care center and once again, Kaleb took one look at us and wailed his head off.  After about 45 minutes, he had wiped himself out with his hysterics and fell asleep on me.  About an hour later, the staff told us it was time for the kids’ farewell ceremony so we woke them and the nannies took them behind the scenes to change them into traditional Ethiopian attire.  We were brought outside where a coffee ceremony had been set up on a beautiful cloth scattered with flowers.  There was popcorn and homemade bread and the kids were brought to us with big bowls of noodles which I was able to feed Kaleb without much fuss.  The kid could eat!  After enjoying some coffee and bread, we said our goodbyes to the nannies.  It was a hard moment taking our son from an environment and people he had come to trust.  But James held him tight in the van and he seemed to enjoy the ride where he fell asleep again.

2nd day in custody - coffee ceremony at Guest House

The next few days were priceless.  Kaleb slept a LOT at first.  We chalked it up to emotional exhaustion.  My major goal was to get him to smile by the time it was time to make our journey home.  But within 24 hours, we had a smile and within 36 hours, he was giving high fives and flirting with the two other adopted little girls staying at the guest house.  The vacant stare and uncertainty seemed to vanish overnight and we started getting to know the real Kaleb.  What a ham!  He danced for us, blew kisses, waved, played peek-a-boo, and even got a devilish look in his eyes when I told him no standing in the crib.  We bonded with him those days at the guest house waiting for the embassy to process his visa so he could travel.  We took him to the Sheraton to swim, out for dinner, and the guest house hosted a barbeque for all the couples staying so we got to know other adopted families who I’m sure we’ll always be in touch with.

BBQ at Guest House

Kaleb having breakfast at Guest House

The only kid in the world who loves to be tickled

 

Kaleb on airplane

On Thursday, we left Addis and began the long journey home.  Once again, we stopped over in Dubai, this time for a shorter time, but still five hours in the middle of the night, so James discovered an in-terminal hotel which we booked and crashed in for a few hours before making our connection to JFK.  Kaleb was a champion traveler.  He slept a good amount and was generally happy and content, though there were moments I thought I’d jump ship if I had the opportunity.  I got peed on and puked on, so those extra clothes I packed were worth lugging around!  After a four hour layover at JFK, we made the final leg of our trip to Boston and drove two hours back to the Cape, Kaleb’s first time in a car seat (he slept the entire ride).

Waiting for last leg at JFK



Kaleb's first carseat ride

Homecoming…wow, what a moment!  The girls and Grandma and Grandpa were anxiously awaiting our arrival in the driveway.  They were so excited, but understood he might be scared.  Right away, there was a connection between the siblings.  They gathered around him and like little mother hens welcomed him to our family.  Inside, they had lots to show him…his room, some trucks they had bought while we were away, drawings they had made, books they wanted to read.  They were in love.  And he was soaking up all the attention. 

Papa Time

That night was one of those transition nights – like the first night your baby is home from the hospital or the first night you sleep in a new house.  Everything feels strange.  But we managed to calm the girls down and get them dinner and baths – they insisted on taking a bath with their baby brother (which in hindsight may not have been the best idea since he later tested positive for giardia, but it was pretty cute).  They had a difficult time getting to sleep because they just wanted to play with their baby brother.  Abigail was in tears saying she couldn’t stop thinking about him and she missed him when he was sleeping.  But somehow, we got all three kids to sleep – miraculously, despite all expectations, Kaleb slept in his own room and went down a lot easier than his sisters.  Everyone was up early, of course, the kids eager to play, James ready to facilitate, and me, ready to go to work (no maternity leave in the innkeeping business!).

Three Car Seats!

Big Sister transporting the little ones

Today marks the three week anniversary of Kaleb’s homecoming.  I can’t believe it has only been three weeks.  It is like he has been here his whole life.  He understands a TON – go get your shoes, time to go upstairs to bed, time to get in the car, put your arms up (when getting changed) – and he attempts words too – mama, Abigail, truck, and cat.  He sleeps through the night for a solid twelve hours and naps for about three mid day.  He loves pasta and most carbs for that matter (that’s my boy!) and while we are still working on fruits, veggies, and ice cream (I’m sorry, but how can you grow up on the Cape and not like ice cream?), I’m sure his Ethiopian palate will eventually become Americanized and he won’t be able to get enough chicken nuggets and cookies.  We are still trying to kick the giardia, but he doesn’t seem uncomfortable.  In fact, he’s one of the happiest kids I think I’ve ever seen.

Proud Papa...Main Street, Chatham

Love ya big sis!

And that’s the story of Kaleb’s homecoming.  The process was took nearly three years – my longest and hardest “pregnancy.”  But what a reward at the end.  Our family of five is truly blessed.

Kaleb's first full day - out for lunch already!